Comfortable in Your Skin

This talk was just shared on Friday (28 Mar 2008) evening during the Grace Baptist Church Youth Fellowship #02. Thank God I was lucid, clear and loud despite my tonsillitis infection. Really it is by God's grace that we are able to do all things!

Good evening, good evening everybody. Welcome to the second Youth Fellowship! I hope you have had an opportunity to connect with each other in the activities and connect with God through the worship songs. I’ve the privilege now to talk to you for a while. Some parts of what I’m going to share have been developed from an idea by Rob Bell. However, before we engage in this together, shall we pray? “Father God, ….. Bless us richly this evening so that we may in turn bless others. In Jesus’ name I pray.”

Genesis Chapter 32, turn with me in your bible to Genesis 32:22-32. We see Jacob at the river Jabbok. At this point as we read into his story, Jacob had sent his whole family across, and he was left alone. Someone appeared and wrestled with him. The bible is not very clear whether this was an angel or a man, but this representative of God had a real smack-down with Jacob; they wrestled through the night. At day-break, this man asked that Jacob let him go, but Jacob tenaciously held on and said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And the man said to Jacob, “What is your name?” Huh… when I first read this, I went “Huh…what do you mean God?” I mean shouldn’t you already know Jacob’s name? Isn’t this a rhetorical question? And if someone held on to me and asked me to do something, I would have probably asked, “What do you want me to do?” or “Why do you want this so badly?” or “Hey man, let me go first…” But the man asked, “What is your Name?”…

To understand this better we need to understand the significance of a name in the ancient middle-east. To the people in those times, a name was more then a name – it signifies the nature or essence or character of the named. So when the man asked Jacob, “What is your name,” he was actually asking, “Who are you?” or “What is your identity?” So Jacob was being asked who he really is. In the half-light of dawn, Jacob might have thought back to the time when he was desperately seeking a blessing from his father Isaac and he too was asked for his name.

Turn with me to Genesis Chapter 27. Genesis 27:18-25 where we shall see the back-story to this incident at the river Jabbok. Jacob had an elder twin brother named Esau or “Red” or “Hairy” born a few seconds before him; and Jacob was named Jacob as he was born after, clutching his brother’s heel. Jacob – heel grabber or deceiver. And some of you blame your parents for giving you strange names… J At this point in Genesis 27, we enter the story of a much younger Jacob going before his Father Isaac asking for his blessing. You must know that by birth order, Esau being the elder, was in line for the blessing. Instead Jacob put on Esau’s clothes, wrapped his arms up in young goats’ skin and bought food to his father Isaac and deceived him. Isaac asked, “Who are you, my son?” And Jacob replied, “Esau…” Jacob, heel-grabber, deceived his father, and stole his brother’s blessing. Jacob did not accept who he was; rather he put on Esau’s clothes and put on goats’ skin. This gives a whole new meaning of being uncomfortable in your own skin. Jacob deceived his father into giving him his blessing. After this, Jacob had to flee from his home as his brother was furious and wanted to kill him; talk about sibling rivalry. The deceived blessing turns out to be no blessing at all.

And now we come back to Jacob at the river Jabbok in Genesis 32, interestingly, the meaning of Jabbok in the original Hebrew language means “Emptying”. So here was Jacob at the river and again he was asked, “What is your name?” And he replied, “Jacob…” Finally, he accepted himself for who he was… How many of us struggle with accepting ourselves for how God made us? We want to be taller, shorter, slimmer, more shapely. If only I have her eyes, if only I had his natural wit and personality, if only I had his smile, if only I have her long legs, if only, if only… The struggle of Jacob is our struggle. Many of us are not comfortable in our skin and we want to be someone else other than ourselves. It doesn’t help that the media portray the image that you can be successful or happy or blessed only if you had this or looked like that. Do not get me wrong, I’m not advocating that you remain your scruffy self and not seek to improve yourself. There are some things you can change and should try to improve – your habits, your diet – changing to a healthier diet for example - I too could do with losing a few extra kilos, not sure about giving up coffee though. You can even work diligently at improving your intellect. However, there are some things that you cannot change - your parents, your nation of birth, your birth-order, your race, your natural skin colour, your natural personality etc.

Jacob, finally at the river Jabbok, emptied himself of his self-deceit and envy and accepted himself for who he was, for how God made him – all his strengths and weaknesses. He admitted to being Jacob – heel-grabber and deceiver - and in the light of the new dawn, God blessed him and changed his name to Israel or God-Wrestler. Now how’s that for a name? The bible says in Proverbs 14:30, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Jacob gave up his envy, and in turn received peace and life and blessings from God. When we accept how God made us, and recognized that we are flawed and incomplete without God, then God would bless us and start a work in us and with us.

But wait, you say, you don’t know us, we are teenagers, we are still having an identity struggle, it is our right. We are not even sure who we really are, how can we accept who we are? Do not worry; there are some adults who still do not know who they really are too! For help in this, we can turn to John Calvin. John Calvin, along with Martin Luther, was one of the fathers of the Reformation movement where many of our protestant Christian churches find their roots in. John wrote a book called “Institutes of the Christian Religion”; it was sort of like a “Dummies Guide to Christianity” in his time. In the first paragraph of the first chapter, he basically said, “True wisdom comes from knowing God and knowing ourselves”. He said that when we contemplate God and know Him better, we know ourselves better; likewise, when we do the hard soul work of really knowing ourselves, we find that we are incomplete and need God and have already received many of His blessings. When Jacob wrestled with God, there was contact with God; you cannot wrestle with someone without contact now can you? And as Jacob got to know God better as God revealed himself, he came to know himself better.

And one of the things we can learn about God from the bible, is from 1 John 4:19, where it says “We love because He (meaning God) first loved us.” God first loved us, and through what Jesus has done on the cross, we have been adopted as His children when we decide to follow Jesus. It does not matter if we think we are too tall or too short, too well-rounded or not rounded enough, too smart or not smart enough; God first loved us. I know who I am because I know who I am loved by. We can know our identity because we can know the God who loves us.

As the dawn broke over the river Jabbok, Jacob now Israel, limped away. He is finally comfortable with his own identity and he accepted himself for who he was. And the thing was God was waiting for just that; for him to admit to his weaknesses and incompleteness, to accept himself for how God made him. God then blessed him and gave him a new name and identity and involved Israel in God’s great redemptive plan. God worked with Israel to do mighty deeds for God’s Kingdom as we see from the story that continues in the bible. May it be that for us, God too is waiting for us to accept ourselves for how He made us, and he is waiting to work out the reign of His Kingdom through us and with us? If we but accept ourselves as who we are and how God has made us and he will invite us to play a part in his ongoing redemptive story.

Before we end this time together, let me just ask you all to think on some questions. What are some things about you that you can change? What are some things about you that you cannot change? Are there some things about yourself that you cannot change that you would have to accept and turn over to God? Do you really know the One who loves you? If you do not, are you prepared to make the effort to know God?

The struggle of Jacob is our struggle; and God’s invitation to Jacob is His invitation to us. May you be comfortable in your own skin, may you accept and enjoy who God made you uniquely to be - knowing that He first loved you. And may you with your “true” name follow Jesus as a part of God’s magnificent story! Thank you.

Can I invite you to pray together with me? “Dear God,….. And may we all accepting and rejoicing in how you have made us, follow Jesus in all areas of our lives. In Jesus name I pray.”

Ollie
Mar 2008