Does Anybody Hear Her?

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her

Never even met her

Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does Anybody Hear Her? - Casting Crowns

Love God, Love Man and make Disciples. So the mission statement goes. There is much talk of loving man - loving the community, loving our neighbours and loving our friends. There is much planning and discussion - of programmes, of committees and resources. All of which are good and important.

The heart of the matter however is the matter of the heart. Do we as a church community really love others? Are we able to love - to look past the scarlet letter, to really see and hear and to lovingly embrace? By doing so, then we can share the hope that is tucked away in you and me - the hope that is Jesus.

Ollie
Dec 2007

Window in the Skies

The shackles are undone,
The bullets quit the gun,
The heat thats in the sun,
Will keep us when there's none.

The rule has been disproved,
The stone has been moved,
The grave is now a groove,
All debts are removed.

Window in the Skies - U2

Ah... Christmas... with the many activities and giving of gifts. Friends meeting up; the afternoon conversations; the shopping sprees; the late night suppers. Sometimes in the midst of all this activities, we forget the essence of Christmas. That is God becoming man. Jesus became one of us - a baby with ten fingers, ten toes, crying to be fed, burping - human.

Immanuel. God with us. Jesus provided us a Window to the Skies - a glimpse of who God is.

Fast forward 33 years. A Cross. A mother wailing. Disciples despairing. A whisper of "It is finished". A death. And then three days later - The stone that has been moved, and the grave that is empty. The rule has been disproved and all debts removed. Opening a window to the Skies above - the way to God through Jesus.


Ollie
Dec 2007

Keep on Pressing Onwards

Come this November, it will be 10 years since I've been baptised into the Faith. I've been a Christ-Follower longer, but 10 years ago I decided to commit to follow after Jesus with my all. It has been 10 years - with its numerous ups and downs and varied life experiences, and I'm still continuously learning some simple lessons. Lessons which I discovered when I was newly baptised and which I realised will take me a life-time to learn.


Keep On Keeping On

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
- James 1:2-4 (The Message; emphasis my)

As James so aptly put it, your faith-life matures when you are under pressure from tests and challenges. We will ALL face difficulties in life; it is inevitable. Sometimes it is even more trying when we do not have answers to the why. I find that as I get older, I've more questions then answers.

However, I choose to keep on keeping on, I believe that ALL things, both the happy occasions and the difficulties, are all gifts from God - to develop and mature my faith-life. I remember the number of past times when God came through for me.


Keep Doing the Simple Things Again and Again

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it. - 2 Timothy 3:14 (English Standard Version; emphasis my)

I remember Kim Meng's 50th Birthday at the Mori's residence, he shared his journey as a Christ-Follower. He said that in his years, he has to continue to re-learn and re-do the simple things - to forgive often, to love often, and not to get bitter.

In my 10 years since baptism, I continue to struggle to learn and apply this simple truth. Sure, the big things and events are useful standing stones - markers of God's grace, but it is in the doing the simple things again and again in all of life that defines your character and walk. It is tempting to focus on the big events like conferences and camps, but to be honest, I think many of us struggle in the in-between. To love and forgive those who has hurt and offended you, to continue to read and study the bible and do devotions, to pray continuously, and to continue to love God with our heart, our mind, our soul and our strength. It is difficult, but we need to keep on doing the simple things again and again in the mostly mundaness of life.


Keep the Hope

"So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us." Hebrews 6:17-18 (English Standard Version; emphasis my)

The last lesson that I've learnt and continue to learn is as the author of Hebrews said, to "hold fast to the hope set before us." To hope. To look expectantly to the future glory set before us. This too is a continuous response; we live in a world where discouragement and hope-killing situations are common occurances - harsh words and discouragement from friends and family; overwhelmingly difficult situations; failure in studies or work; loneliness and broken relationships. I believe most if not all of us have at one time or the other abandoned hope or have been sorely tempted to do so.

Therefore, I often have to respond in belief again and again in God's promise - that God has set a hope before us - a hope of future glory; and that this hope lies in Jesus. And we have a responsibility not only to keep the hope but to pass this hope to the generation that comes after us.



Ollie
Nov 2007

Guan Huai Fang Shi

Guan Huai Fang Shi - loosely translated "Way of Caring" - that's the song my colleague convinced me to sing at the farewell lunch for my AD and friend who is leaving the branch this year end. I think it is going to be funny on two counts. Firstly, they have gotten me to sing this in Mandarin - me whose spoken mandarin sounds like an American Born Chinese, with the accompanying slang. And secondly, I've to with all passion and conviction, speak out the English translation during the musical interlude. If the translation was good and poetic, I think I can pull it off with some flair, but it is a loosely translated version which make me sound like a bad English-translation of a 70s Chinese Movie. Sigh... all in good fun. I think it'll be quite funny. :)

Ollie
Nov 2007

Celebrity Collage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

Beyond Leadership

I just came across an article I wrote when I was involved in student leadership back when I was teaching in a secondary school. It has been at least four to five years back when I wrote this reflection essay on leadership for my students. It is heartening to see that my thoughts on leaders and leadership though developing then, still remains congruent - that the beyond leadership skills and techniques, the main essence of leadership was the character of the leader. I've reproduced the article in full below for readers' reading pleasure.

Beyond Leadership

Oliver Chia

“Character is Destiny”

William Hundert (Kevin Kline) in The Emperor’s Club

In these times when everything seems to be reduced to techniques and methods, leadership too has often been seen as learning a series of skills and management tools. Being a good leader then means a mastery of these techniques and skills. True, a mastery of these skills will aid in the science and art of leadership. However, being a great leader means possessing certain attributes that is beyond leadership skills.

The character William Hundert played by Kevin Kline in The Emperor’s Club, in the initial introductory narrative pronounced, “Character is Destiny.” All too often in the quest to become better leaders, the need for character is often glossed over or ignored. Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mendela – the honors rolls of history of great leaders all possessed one thing in common, impeccable integrity and character. The quest to be a great leader necessitates that we simply cannot ignore the character development of the man or woman; that which is foundational to being a leader par excellence.

What then are these essential characters? I proposed three key characters for anyone seeking to be a leader: Humility, Integrity and Compassion. To be humble means a freedom from pride. It means having a learning heart. A humble leader is able to assess a situation rightly, free from pride, and make the correct decision. He would also be able to learn from all situations. The world would be his teacher. Integrity has been variously defined as wholeness, soundness or honesty. To be a person of integrity means to be a whole person, there is no discrepancy between heart thoughts and outward actions. He or she is a person of sound character. This leader is honest and is trusted by all. A compassionate leader is a person who is genuinely passionate about people. He leads out of a motivation to care and serve others. He, through who he is, builds strong loving relationships with people. He serves well before he leads well. Humility allows you to continue to learn to be a great leader; Integrity enables people to trust you; and compassion allows people to know that you care for them and then they will follow you. All these are foundational to leadership.

And how do we develop and cultivate these characters? I suggest three practices that could be adopted to help develop these characters. The first is to keep a reflection journal or simply to set aside some time for reflection in solitude. To learn to be humble means to be in a state of continual reflection, see what you can learn from every situation. Having a journal and writing in it will prompt you to reflect and learn. To have integrity means to be consistent in thoughts, words and actions. Do not say or do things you do not mean. It is difficult, but we have to examine our every motive. In this respect, it helps if you spend some time reflecting on your motives for your actions. Another practice to adopt in developing character would be to have a small circle of peers form an accountability group. In such a group where honesty and openness is practiced, valuable feedback can be obtained. This can put you in a posture of humility and learning from your peers. Also having a small group of two to three help check your pride and motives would be useful in developing humility and integrity. It will help you not to esteem yourself too highly and adopt a gracious attitude to everyone about you. Of course in such a small group, a covenant of secrecy must be maintained, whereby matters shared should not be disclosed to others outside of the group. Finally, to be compassionate means to live in an authentic community of people, having caring relationships with other. It also means seeking to give of yourself to others: your time, energy and resources. It means making a contribution to your community. In this respect, to cultivate compassion then would mean that you have to seek to contribute to the community. This can be done if you deliberately set aside time, energy and resources to help in a cause, be it volunteering to help out in an old-folks home, seeking to better the quality of life in the community by taking up environmental causes or simply set out to do a random act of kindness a day.

To go beyond mere leadership then means more than just learning leadership tools and techniques, it means building of the right character. It starts from the inside out, and the time and energy spent in investing in the building of character forms the foundation of a great leader. Remember character is more important than competence. Develop your character.

~ The End ~

After note:

Two years after, as I look and reflect on the words I had written, I am still convicted that Humility, Integrity and Compassion is essential to the character of a leader. To these I would add brokenness; a person made weak or infirm or subdued completely by the Spirit of God. The ever present danger for a leader is that he or she would serve for the sake of the ego. Being broken in spirit would bind the ego and allow the Spirit of God to work mightily in the life of the leader.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3 (NIV)

Ollie

Nov 2007

If I were the Rain

If I were the rain
that binds together the earth and the sky,
who in all eternity never mingles.
Would I be able to bind the hearts of people together?

I like this quote from the anime "Bleach". :)

Ollie
Oct 2007

Not all those who wander are lost

“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crown-less again shall be king.”

- J.R.R. Tolkien in the Lord of the Rings

Ollie
19 Oct 2007

Writer's Block

Writer's block. :(

I wanted to write on my experience a couple of weeks back walking alone along Changi Coastal Walk or my sleep improvement now that I've bought a CPAP but nothing flows from my pen...

Dryness...

Ollie
Oct 2007

Lifehouse Everything Skit

Remembered our first Youth and Young Adult first Missions Exposure and Experience Trip to Thailand in Dec 2004. We did a similar skit like this. Sarah was the girl in the spot-light for ours. :)

Ollie
Sep 2007

We cannot keep the love of God to ourselves

"Pray without ceasing"
- 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (ESV)


There is a way of life so hid with Christ in God that in the midst of the day's business one is inwardly lifting brief prayers, short bursts of praise, subdued whispers of adoration and of tender love to the Beyond that is within. One can live in a well-nigh continuous state of unworded prayer, directed toward God, directed toward people and enterprises we have on our heart. There is no hurry about it at all; it is a life unspeakable and full of glory, an inner world of splendor within which we, unworthy, may live. Some of you know it and can live in it; others of you may wistfully long for it; it can be yours. Now out from such a holy Center come the commissions of life. Our fellowship with God issues in world concern. We cannot keep the love of God to ourselves.
- A Testament of Devotion by Thomas Kelly

Ollie
Sep 2007

Valuing the One Thing

God's word is uttered by those who repeat Christ's teaching
and meditate on his sayings. Let us always speak this word.
When we speak about wisdom, we are speaking of Christ.
When we speak about virtue, we are speaking of Christ.
When we speak about justice, we are speaking of Christ.
When we speak about peace, we are speaking of Christ.
When we speak about truth and life and redemption, we
are speaking of Christ.
- Ambrose

"Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ. .... Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back."
- Philippians 3:8, 13-14. (The Message)

The high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus - may I value Him and Him alone above all else.

Ollie
Sep 2007

Choosing the One Thing

I need thee to teach me day by day, according to each day's
opportunities and needs. Give me, O my Lord, that purity of
conscience which alone can receive, which alone can improve
thy inspiration. My ears are dull, so that I cannot hear they
voice. My eyes are dim, so that I cannot see thy tokens. Thou
alone canst quicken my hearing, and purge my sight, and
cleanse and renew my heart. Teach me to sit at thy feet and to
hear thy Word, Amen.
- John Henry Newman

Open my eyes to see where you are already at work in the world; open my ears that I might incline to listen to your still small voice; and open my heart that I might receive your Word with great joy. Teach me to choose the One Thing.

Ollie
Sep 2007

Seeking the One Thing

I love you, O my God; and I desire to love you more and more.
Grant to me that I may love you much as I desire, and as
much as I ought. O dearest friend, who has loved and saved
me, the thought of whom is so sweet and always growing
sweeter, watch over my lips, my steps, my deeds, and I shall
not need to be anxious either for my soul or my body. Give me
love, sweetest of all gifts, which knows no enemy. Give me in
my heart pure love, born of your love to me, that I may love
others as you love me. O most loving Father of Jesus Christ,
from whom flows all love, let my heart, frozen in sin, cold to
you and cold to others, be warmed by this divine fire. So help
and bless me in your Son. Amen.
- A Prayer of Anselm

Anselm's prayer is beautiful. Often times the saints that have gone before have deep and intimate prayers. Father, may the orientation of my life and my heart's desire be that of seeking the One Thing - Jesus.

Ollie
Sep 2007

Deep Longing

Deep in the heart of every person is the longing,
fitfully glimpsed and but half realized,
to gather up all its strivings into an intense pursuit
of one all-embracing objective worthy
of the toil and tears and devotion of the human heart.
- Karl Rahner

Ollie
Sep 2007

I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...


U2 - I Still haven't found what I'm looking for - Joshua Tree

Bono writes beautiful honest lyrics. U2's songs often ring a chord within my being.

Remember how sometimes you can be lonely when in a crowd and feel empty even when busy? It happens at times to all of us. It's happening to me now.

"God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. "
Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NLT)

God has placed a desire in our hearts; we desire eternity for we were made for another world. A world of deep intimate meaningful relationships; where work and its results are significant; and where truth, love, faith and hope reigns.

But... it is so difficult when you are in this world - beautiful but fallen. When you struggle with a continent of loneliness; when you find your work mundane; and when you see lies, and hate and despair about you. It is so easy to fall into despair or be tempted to walk the broad road.

I wake up daily and ask for grace. Grace enough again for this day for me to continue on the narrow way - the way of Jesus.

Ollie
Aug 2007

In Darkness

Do you blame the dark for being dark,

or the light for not shining?

Ollie
Aug 2007

Publicity Video for Grace Baptist Church Youth Camp 2007

The first GBC Youth Camp 2007 Publicity Video by Debs. Enjoy!

Ollie
Aug 2007

The Reason for Everything (Day 7, Purpose Driven Life)

"Everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power, and everything is for his glory." Romans 11:36 (LB)

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him." - John Piper


Am I most satisfied with God? Or am I still looking for satisfaction elsewhere? I remember something St. Augustine said,

"Our hearts are restless until it rests in you."

St. Augustine said that we would continue to be restless and discontented until our hearts find rest and satisfaction in God alone. It is only when we are most satisfied with God, that we glorify Him.

Rick Warren in this chapter goes on to give five principles on how we can bring glory to God. He says,

• We bring God glory by worshiping him;
• We bring God glory by loving other believers;
• We bring God glory by becoming like Christ;
• We bring God glory by serving others with our gifts; and
• We bring God glory by telling others about him.

These are what he calls the five purposes of a purpose driven life. Though I still think that life is messy, these does provide a useful grid to frame the activities of our lives. It'll help me to re-think what I'm doing and whether it brings glory to the Father. The principles are concise and simple; but the proof of the life is in the living. I pray for grace to live it.


Ollie
Jul 2007

Life is a Tempoary Assignment (Day 6, Purpose Driven Life)

For, “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.” 1 Peter 1:24-25a (NIV)

"LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away." Psalm 39:4 (NLT)
^



"All they think about this life here on earth. But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives." Philippians 3:19-20 (NLT)

"I know there'll be a moment
I know there'll be a place
Where we will see our Saviour
And fall in His embrace
So let us not grow weary
Or too content to stay
'Cause we are not home yet
We are not home yet
Not home yet
So let us journey on"
- Steven Curtis Chapman

As I read Day 6 of the Purpose Driven Life, I remembered a song by Steven Curtis Chapman - Not Home Yet. It captures my thoughts and reflections well; life is a temporary assignment and we are not home yet. It reminded me that neither should I be too content nor too weary with this world. I should not be too contented with this present world - I should not be too obsessed and caught up in the pursuit of the things of this world, but rather focus on things eternal. Neither am I too be to weary by the worries, trials and brokenness of this world - but rather I should hope and focus on the coming glory. I am reminded I am not home yet.


Ollie
Jul 2007

All of life is a Faith Journey - Walk On

A young friend recently messaged to thank me for restoring some of her Faith in the world after we had a time of conversations. I replied what I deeply believe - that all of life is a Faith Journey which we walk by His grace.

All of life is a Faith Journey - Walk On

Ollie
Jul 2007

How You Live Says Whose You Are

The tag-line for the HSBC platinum credit card says, "How you live says who you are." I suppose the idea behind the tag-line is that with a platinum HSBC credit card, you can live well. And living well means that you are a significant somebody.

As a Christ-follower, significance is not measured as such. We can add two letters to the tag-line, and it will become "How you live says whose you are." This would be a better description of the life a Christ-follower is called to.

Does our lives reflect whose we are? Do we live a God-life, living for God in all we do? Or are we little different from everybody else? Do we seek satisfaction and significance in power, money, material goods, worldly fame or a credit card? Or do we walk a different path? Remember "How you live says whose you are," we should be living as children of God.

Ollie
Jul 2007

Seeing Life from God's View (Day 5, Purpose Driven Life)

"Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones." - Luke 16:10a (NLT)

Life is a test and a trust. What begs the next question - how do we know with what are we tested and with what are we entrusted with? I think the key is in the verse above - small matters. We are to be faithful in small matters.

Oftentimes, we think that we should and can do big things for God. Sometimes God calls us to courageously step forward to accomplish great things for him; however most times it is the small matters that really matters to God. The seemingly insignificant, mundane, common stuff of our life:

- Showing care and love to our parents everyday by helping with chores, being respectful and even just spending time with them;
- Being a good student by diligently doing the work required of you and by being honest;
- Doing what is expected of you at work by working hard as if it's for God;
- Giving thanks to God for the little graces in life and living life with gratitude and cheer; and
- Many others seemingly little things.

Small matters, but they matters to God. For it is in the small matters that our character is built, one small thought and action at a time.

Ollie
Jul 2007

Starbucks Theology

I was down at One Fullerton Starbucks with Caleb, Ken Poon, Muriel and Jolene. We ordered our our coffee and food and sat by the bayfront. In the distance was the big ferris wheel - the "Singapore Flyer"and the Esplanade with the Marina Skyline. Bumboats with tourists and a solitary canoe were cruising to and fro in the waters of the Marina Bay, with the Benjamin Sheare's bridge framing the grey-sapphire waters.

It was an overcast afternoon, with a breeze from the bay blowing over us. Though it was humid, it was bearable with help from ice-cold frappuccinos. As we sip our our coffee we talked about life, work, studies and ministry etc. There were moments of passionate conversations as we shared our hopes for the church. I realised that God is already at work in the hearts of the young people around me. Our moments of seriousness was interspersed with moments of silliness as we wave with gusto at the tourist moving by in the bumboats.

We discussed various topics and ideas but it invariably settled on how we as Christ-followers should live the God-life. How we can serve in the local church we are at, through the various ministries - worship, youth and young adults, small groups. Caleb talked about discipleship and life-on-life; of which I agree and believe in as well. I added caution that this God-life comprise both doing and being, reminding Muriel of the conversation we had sometime back. The God-life in essence means to love God, to love others and to make disciples. In other words, to be in a right relationship with God, to be in right relationships with others and to bring others into this life-giving right relationship with God and others.

There was a pause in our conversations as I made my way into the cafe to purchase more coffee and tea - caffeine fuel for our discussions. On my way out I picked up a little booklet from Starbucks. It was "Discover the Starbucks Experience"; it describes Starbucks and what they were about. One phrase stood out - "It's what we love that defines us." It explains why Starbucks as a company did what they did.

"How apt," I thought, thinking back on our conversations. I thought as Christ-followers, its "Who" we love that defines us. That and "Who" we are loved by. I also remembered Matthew 6:21:

^"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (NIV)

Here "heart" refers to the centre of all physical and spiritual life; and "treasure" means the place where good and precious things are kept. So what we love defines us, what we treasure determines the orientation of our physical and spiritual life. Hence if the orientation of our lifes falls short of the God-life, then we need to examine what we treasure most. A sobering thought.

I glanced at the "younglings" around me and I realised that they do treasure the things of God; hence the long conversations we just had. I was encouraged. Poon also remarked that things appear to be looking up. Things for our local church do appear to be improving baby steps by baby steps.

I continue to pray for these around me that they would continue to seek the God-life and for God to grant me grace and strength to continue to point them to Jesus.

Ollie
Jul 2007

Learning by paradox

Lord, High and Holy, meek and lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.

- from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Relearning: On Faith

I realized that there on some things on the way of Christ that you'll relearn again and again. It is the doing again of the simple things that characterize faith and builds into your character. I've quoted Buechner again below on his poetic definition of Faith.

"Faith is homesickness. Faith is a lump in the throat. Faith is less a position on than a movement towards, less a sure thing than a hunch. Faith is waiting. Faith is journeying through space and time.

So if someone (and this frequently happens) were to come up and ask me to talk about my faith, it's exactly that journey through space and time I'd have to talk about. The ups and downs of the years, the dreams, the odd moment, the intuitions. I'd have to talk about the occasional sense I have that life isn't just a series of events causing other events as haphazardly as a break shot in pool causes billard balls to go off in many directions, but that life has a plot the way a novel has a plot - that events are somehow leading somewhere.

- Frederick Buechner, Going on Faith"

Lord grant me the grace and strength for each new day, as I, in the face of my many weaknesses, choose once again to follow hard after you on this journey through time and space. Help me to believe that events are somehow leading somewhere.

Ollie
Jun 2007

Mount Rainier

Ah Mount Rainier. This picture was taken by a friend who visited Seattle last year. It brings back memories.

I was in Seattle in Aug 05. I remember seeing Mount Rainier from some distance as I was traveling in a car from Richland to Seattle. It was beautiful. It left me awestruck.

Then I arrived in Seattle. I remember the people, the art museums, the cafes, the coffee, the rainy grey weather, the culture. I enjoyed it all. The city was framed on one side by picturesque mountains, and Puget Sound framed the other. A number of lakes and green parks dotted the landscape. It was like eden, a little slice of paradise this side of heaven. I also visited the San Juan Islands. Words fail to describe the enchantment. I think it has been listed as one of the most beautiful island chain as part of the named world heritage sites.

If there is a city I would like to live in, it would be Seattle along the pacific northwest of the North America. Either that or Vancouver, which lies north along the coast-line of Puget Sound from Seattle. I wish...

Ollie
Jun 2007

Made to Last Forever (Day 4, Purpose Driven Life)

"God has ... planted eternity in the human heart." Ecclesiates 3:11 (NLT)

"For this is the end of all the stories... But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world... had only been the cover and title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever and in which every chapter is better than the one before." - C.S. Lewis on the last page of the Chronicles of Narnia

I need to continue to learn to live in the light of eternity - that every act of my life will strike some chord that will vibrate in eternity. Let my thoughts, words and deeds be in harmony and synchrony with the grand Song-line that runs through all time.

Ollie
Jun 2007

The Way of the Christian Leader

As I'm pondering the possibility of taking up the position of ministry leader for Youth and Young Adults, I remember Henri Nouwen's thinking on the way of the Christian Leader.

"The way of the Christian leader is not the way of upward mobility in which our world has invested so much, but the way of downward mobility ending on the cross. Here we touch the most important quality of Christian leadership in the future. It is not a leadership of power and control; but a leadership of powerlessness and humility in which the suffering servant of God, Jesus Christ, is made manifest." - Henri Nouwen

I'm to manifest Jesus. Which then is the best way for me to do that? To take up the responsibility or to walk another path?

Ollie
Jun 2007

Bugling for God

It was a couple of weeks back, but I still recall the scene vividly.

I was driving, on my way home. It was past six going on to seven in the evening. The fading light increased the contrast between the light and shadows; the disappearing orb of the sun casting a orange hue on the landscape.

I stopped at a traffic light just on the road outside Temasek Junior College. My mind was still thinking on the work of the day while my eyes was taking in the shadow play of the fading light. Suddenly, from my left I heard a distinctive sound of a bugle. "What?" I thought as I turned and glanced out from my left car window, not believing my ears.

The horn sounded again and it came from a taxi on my left, parked next to my car. The middle age looking driver was blowing on his bugle. He was engaged in pressing on the keys and rehearsing a tune. I thought he was probably with a brass band at some community club somewhere. He continued on his bugle, oblivious to my looking.

I was impressed with his dedication. He was probably driving a 10 -12 hour shift; and when off shift he would likely to have to attend to family and other commitments. He was making use of his time well; snatching short periods of time spent stopping at traffic lights or over meal times to practice.

I reflected on his use of time and realized that as a Christ-follower I should be as wise in the use of my time.

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15-16 (ESV)

We are exhorted to make wise use of our time; to discern our priorities and where we have been called to serve and minister. We are to attend to the best, selecting from all the good things we can possibly do. This means having to discern and say "No" and choosing to devote our given energies and resources to what really matters. In my case, from the number of spiritual gifts inventories I have done in the past pointed to my gifts as "Teaching", "Wisdom" and "Pastor-Teacher". It would mean that I should focus on communicating, writing and meaning making; coaching, mentoring and spiritual direction; and discipling and caring for the youth and young adults small groups in my area of influence. In this way, I can make the best use of my time.

Ollie
Jun 2007

((Postlude: Again as I write I sense God speaking to me as I write. I've been invited to take on the position of the ministry leader in the youth/young adult ministry in church. However, leadership and administration is not among my giftings. I think I need to re-evaluate this. Is this God's call? or is it motivated by something else? My ego and drive to get things moving? My frustration with the current situation? I happened to speak with Ellen on the idea of an online small group leaders training. After Yann, she's the second person to be enthusiastic on the idea. Myself, I'm excited about this idea and the possibility of doing discipleship in a fresh new way. What is the best use of my time? I need to seriously think this through.))

Leadership snapshots

Leaders define Reality.
- Bill Hybels

Fear and Trembling

God, grant me a broken and humble spirit so that your Spirit can work in and through me.

God, grant me a heart that overflows with love so that it vanquishes my fears and insecurities.

God, grant me an attitude of working in unity so that your local body can fulfill its calling in this city.

God, grant me the courage to walk worthy in response to your calling.

Above all, God, grant me grace and strength daily, allowing me to live in this tension – between what is and what it should be,

Ollie

Jun 2007

More Random Snippets from a Caffeine Junkie

You know you are a caffeine junkie when:



Your friend text-message you over MSN and says that whenever she sees coffee she thinks of you.


Your friends on their return from an overseas trip gets you a a packet of fresh coffee beans and a Tee Shirt that says "I'm having an 'out-of-coffee' experience".


Your friends looking for you in a shopping mall immediately proceeds to the nearest Starbucks or coffee cafe - certain that they would find you sipping coffee there.



Ollie
June 2007

What Drives your Life? (Day 3, Purpose Driven Life)

I continue to read "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. Continuing in the Chapter "What Drives your Life?" a few passages seem to stand out:


"The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man." - Thomas Carlyle

"Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial, petty and pointless." - Rick Warren


Motion, activity and events seem to characterize the hustle and bustle life of a Singaporean. We seem to be moving about; busy with one activity or another; and attending this event or that meeting. We can even be busy in the midst of doing "church ministry". Just today in church I really wanted to sit down with Kim Meng for meaningful conversation and yet our responsibilities did not allow us to do so.

And yet in the midst of this busy-ness, we can see people living hollow lives. Without a purpose or direction, life seems mundane and pedestrian - meaningless. And yet we are called by the Father to a life of meaning, a life of adventure and abundance. This occurs when we live a life in faithfulness and obedience to God's purposes and calling. Rick Warren writes that the following will characterize your life when this happens:

• It gives meaning to your life;
• It simplifies your life;
• It focuses your life;
• It motivates your life; and
  
• It prepares you for eternity.

I thought that this is a good reminder to keep God's purpose before me; I need to not only know what to do but also what not to do, lest I'm counted a poor steward of God's gifts, resources and time.


Ollie
June 2007

Life's Calling? Part 2

My dear friend from Australia had set me thinking about the idea of calling; I had said that this is an issue that warrant continual conversation as we wrestle with the truths and its application. I'm continuing the conversation below with a passage from James Emery White's book: "Serious Times - Making your Life Matter in an Urgent Day." He has beautifully written about calling and I shall let him speak.


"We do not have a 'spiritual life'; we have life that is meant to be lived spiritually. Our careers must be approached in light of God's calling and passionately pursued as worship. Beyond this, whatever we find ourselves doing is to be infused with the greatest call of all: faithfulness. Without this deep and profound sense of vocation, we will simply race through schedules, build portfolios, climb corporate ladders and optimize our retirement plans for little more than economic benefit. Worse, we will fail to fulfill God's plan for our lives as marketplace men and women. We need those who are artists to be artists, thinking and acting Christianly as artists. The same is true of those in sales, marketing, engineering, teaching and real estate.

Christians fueled by a profound sense of calling will revolutionize and reform the fabric of daily life and radically challenge those lives they interact with. Further, when we will rise to the occasion and allow God to influence everyone around us. When we accept our calling and offer it to God in worship and obedience, it becomes a conduit for God's glory and work on this planet."
- James Emery White


All of life can be worship; I pray I can live in the light of this simple yet profound truth.

Ollie
June
2007

Life's Calling? Part 1

A dear friend from Australia messaged me a question:

"What do you think your final goal in life is? Do you know your calling? If yes, what is it? If no, how do you live your life with an assurance that you are created for a reason other than to commune with God. What are humans made for?


I can see that she was seeking and questioning. I was delighted that she was questioning and reflecting on the life's calling; it is evidence that God's Spirit was at work in her heart. Questions drives understanding and defines learning, but these are tough questions.


I considered her questions and replied as concisely as I can over sms:

"I believe all of us besides primarily to commune with God have an individual distinct calling. However, this does not translate into a well-mapped out life. Rather we can discern God's main melody line in the song of our lives and we can than participate in the improvisation of the harmony. In my context, I think God created me to teach (In Paul Stevens' words, to be a meaning and communication maker, :) ) and to interact with young people (path maker). So the song of my life, you will find these melody lines running through; the actual enactment would be a harmony line of my response - meaning in my vocation I will have elements of teaching and working with younger people though the actual working out of these can vary and differ according to the choices I make. These I believe is my calling in this life."

I realise that it is hard to be concise in the answers to her questions; in summarizing the meaning can be diluted and lost. I supposed we can probably continue this conversation over a few weblog entries. I'll do just that then.


Ollie
May 2007

Living for Something Bigger

When I read some books, the words resonates and leaves a deep impression. It is as if the writer is speaking directly to me; or that the writer pens some prose that encapsulates my thoughts and ideas but in words that seems like poetry. James Emery White is one such writer. He exegetes the Word and culture perceptively, and yet maintain the spirit and beauty of a word-smith. I quote from one of his book below. Read on.


"I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot, overwhelmed with a single thought: That's what I want for my life. To be caught up in the sweep of history. To be in the centre of things. To be making a difference. To be at the heart of the struggle between right and wrong, good and evil. My heart was almost breaking at the thought of a life of insignificance. Then I recall thinking. But where can that happen in the real world?...

Then it came to me - as startlingly sudden as a rip of lightning, and as poundingly affirmed as any thunder that could follow - that's what God's invitation to the Christlife is all about!... I could give my life to something that would live on long after I was gone, that was bigger than I was, and where what I did mattered and could affect all of history - even into eternity."
-James Emery White, Serious Times: Making your Life Matter in an Urgent Day


I want to live such a life - a Christlife.

Ollie
May 2007

Soul Friends

I had a wonderful evening last night. I managed to catch up with a close friend - one of a circle of a few.

Immediately after the initial few minutes of warming up to each other, we commenced with meaningful, deep conversation. It felt as if we were continuing a conversation though the last we met was some eight months ago. The conversation was soul speak. We actually admitted to missing each other - in a totally non-romantic and platonic sort of way. :P

We spoke for two hours, but it felt like only a brief moment in time. Then we parted - her to her family and marriage and year long break before enrolling in an art school; me to my world of education and ministry with youths and young adults. We parted with each encouraged and thanking God for the ongoing transformation in each other's life.

I think it'll probably be a while before we meet, but I'm sure we will continue the on-going conversation again - for we are soul friends.


Always in gratitude for His grace,

Ollie
May 2007

You are Not an Accident (Day 2. Purpose Driven Life)

The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what He does for us.” Romans 12:3 The Message.

Again the reminder – if I want to discover and understand myself, I do not start from myself, I should start from God. By understanding God’s character and what He in love has done for us, can I really comprehend my being. Acting then in response to His love and calling can I really fulfill my deepest most desires.

Ollie

May 2007

It All Starts with God (Day 1, Purpose Driven Life)

Started the first day of my 40-day Purpose-Driven Life journey. Appropriately, the first chapter is titled "It All Starts with God". I read the chapter slowly and thoughtfully.

Hmm... nothing really new as I've heard this chapter before on my PDL audio CDs and have covered this in both the Youth and Young Adults' cell group.


But what's that again?

"Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life." - Romans 8:6 The Message.


Open and spacious. I've always desire wide open spaces. Maybe it's because I live in a crowded Island city of 4 million; or it's because I've always been sensitive to people - their emotions, remarks and seeming intentions - that I've always sought an "Alone" place. In my day-dreams, my "Alone" place would be on a gentle hillock with a babbling river at its foot. Towering over me would be a number of tall, luxuriant trees and the soft feel of a carpet of grass on my back as I lay gazing at the distant mountains and lakes. Awe-inspiring. Around me would the call of birds, buzz of insects and the rustling of the leaves as a gentle breeze kisses the brow of my head. And next to me would be a good book and a cup of Starbucks coffee. Ah.. the stuff of dreams.

But I can live the open, spacious and free life if I'm attentive to God? In the here and now? That appears to be what living the "God-life" promises. This is counter-intuitive - to shift the focus from self which leads to a dead-end to focusing on God. And yet, that is the paradox of Kingdom living - the more you grasp for your own, the less you have, while the letting go of self and surrendering to God leads to abundant life. A life that is open, spacious and free.

I choose the life that leads to freedom and wide open spaces.


Ollie
May 2007

Random snippets from a Caffeine Junkie

Ah… the aroma of a freshly brewed coffee. It’s the closest thing to paradise on this side of heaven.

The sound of raindrops and the grey hues of a rainy day. The stuff of inspiration. Also it serves to enhance the pleasures of a hot cup of coffee.

The allure of the green siren symbol that is Starbucks. It seems to cast a siren call to me as I enjoy the ambience of this the “third place”. Nothing beats hanging out with a cup of coffee and a book in Starbucks. Unless it is hanging out with a close friend with a cup of coffee and a book in Starbucks.

I just realized what a caffeine addict I am! My mental map of Singapore is always in relation to the nearest coffee place.

When under stress or pressure… the first thing I do is to make a cup of coffee.

Being caffeinated is the next best thing to Godliness.

Wide awake….

… and not alone

Ollie

May 2007

April Madness

I haven't been updating my blog regularly in Apr. It was really Apr madness - busy with conducting/facilitating workshops for teachers; writing a concept paper for a new A-level subject; conducting student interviews; and presenting during the regular Head of Departments meeting etc etc. Whew.... it tires me just to think of it.

Hmm.. the church is starting on the Purpose Driven Life (PDL) programme come late July. I've been thinking how I can help support this and how I can prepare for it. I've decided that to be a guide I need to know the paths. If I'm to help facilitate this for the youths and young adults, I would have to have walk down the ways myself. Inner transformation preceeds outer change. So I suppose I've to start going through the 40 days PDL programme myself first. So forgive me if the next forty days of posting consist mainly of my thoughts and reflections of the Purpose Driven Life. :)

Grace,

Ollie
May 2007

I'm ENFJ?

Saw yet another personality test; this time on Zai's Blog. I decided to give it a try.

I'm ENFJ?!

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Ollie
Apr 2007

Praying from the Heart of Ourselves

Find the door of your heart, and you will discover that it is the door of the Kingdom of God. - John Chrysostom.

Equal Hemispheres?

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (58%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (60%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I just did a left brain/right brain test. I happen across it while at Ellen's Blog and I thought why not? Let's have a try at the test. And guess what, I've fairly equal hemispheres. Reminds me of another personality test I took and I'm neither introvert nor extrovert - I'm an ambi-vert. Sigh... not very useful if you are looking to find out more about yourself. Neither one or the other. I guess I'm confused! :)


Ollie
Mar 2007

I'm Messy

I think people are messy. I am. If you are honest you would admit to being messy too.

We are loving, fearful, self-sacrificial, selfish, creative, controlling, intelligent, foolish and a whole host of others rolled into one. At our best, we inspire epics and tales of love and heroism. At our worse, we disgust with our infamy and evil. We are inconsistent. We are messy people.

That's what makes grace even more amazing. Grace freely given to messy people like you and me.

Wide awake and not alone.
Ollie
Mar 2007

Self-scrutiny

But in my spiritual life I have learned that hope and grace do not come cheap. They require honest self-scrutiny first, and then confession, an offering up of our own inner darkness to the source of forgiveness and transformation.

Parker J. Palmer, To Know as We are Known (Harper Collins Publishers, 1993), 2.

Sacramental Time

A sacrament is when something holy happens. It is transparent time, time which you can see through to something deep inside time... In other words, at such milestone moments... you are apt to catch a glimpse of the most unbearable preciousness and mystery of life... If we weren't as blind as bats, we might see that life itself is sacramental.

Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking (New York: Harper and Row, 1973), 82 - 83.

Whole Person

“Are you okay Ollie?” she asked.

“uhmm… not really.” I replied.

“Oh… are you feeling unwell physically, spiritually or emotionally?” she asked raising her brows in concern.

“I’ve been sick for the last 3 or so weeks; I’ve been having a persistent sinus infection.” I replied softly. Thinking that the distinct separation between the physical, emotion and spiritual is not quite right, I continued, “but usually when I’m sick everything else seems to be affected as well.”

“Well… yes…” she replied hesitantly.

This conversation took place in church last week. I know she meant well but I was a little disturbed. She seemed to have a compartmentalized view of a person and life. I think that this reductionist compartmental view of a person and priorities in life is quite predominant in contemporary society. It’s like when you go to church or pray; it’s a spiritual activity. When you go to your workplace; it’s a secular activity and you are just earning money to meet daily needs. Rest and exercise goes into the physical compartment; but when you sacrifice sleep to do church related work, it’s spiritual. Going into full time professional ministry is highly spiritual. ((As an aside, it is not the role that makes you Godly; it is the Godly person behind that makes the role Godly)).You see where this is leading.

I think compartmentalizing is not right. The Jews concept of “Shalom” in Jesus’ time meant more than just “peace”; it meant “wholeness” or “integration”. The understanding was that all of life was to be integrated under God. All of life is interdependent. God is at the centre and this should flow into all of life. We need to live with integrity; not live fragmented, compartmentalized lives and faith.

Having a compartmentalize view will tend to cause us to lead fragmented lives. We will live with increased pressure to balance all the various priorities as we seek to lead the life we were called to. We will try frantically to balance all our priorities. As “spiritual” Christians, we will seek to do more and more “Church” work, sometimes at the expense of relationships, family and health. Doing Kingdom work is good, but His Kingdom is more then the church. Family, relationships and health are also important in God’s eyes.

Not only will this compartmental view lead to increased fragmentation and pressure, it will justify us not living out our faith in all of life. For example, since work is secular, we can think that it’s okay to play by the rules of the world; we’ll compromise our faith and beliefs a little here or there, after all what can we expect? It is secular work. Or if we do not compromise, we live small lives, not living to the fullest where God calls us. We hide our faith. Or as students, we either separate our faith from our school life or withdraw from the sphere of school-life, focusing more on “church” and other “spiritual” activities. There is no separation between the secular and the sacred. All of life is spiritual and sacred under God.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” - Teilhard de Chardin

What are we to do then? We need to be wide awake as to how to live our faith in all of life. We need to engage the various spheres of our priorities, living integrated lives of faith. Through it all, we know we are not alone.

Ollie

March 2007

The Act of Blogging

Why do I blog?

I blog not because I have the answers; I blog because in the process of writing, I think, I articulate my thoughts and feelings, and I pray God speaks to me through them.

I blog not because of any narcissistic act of creativity; I blog because I’m made in the image of the First Creator; in this act of writing and re-creation I express in a small way what He did when He spoke into the void and created.

I blog not because of the need to see and record spectacular new visions; I blog because I want to open my eyes to see that which God has already made plainly visible. I want to see the common made holy.

I blog not because of the need of an outlet or compartment to vent my daily frustration; I blog because I hope to integrate Faith and Life, to be a whole person.

I blog not because I enjoy the solitude act of writing; I blog to connect to friends, to build a community here on the blogosphere.

Ollie

March 2007

Really 35 for the moment

I'm really 35!

Last night XH and KW came by with a cake and some presents. They drove some half hour and took time off their busy schedule to just celebrate this moment with me. It was a good hour or so of meaningful conversations, mutual encouragement and practicing presence. I was touched and moved.

Throughout the day, a few of the younger people dropped me an sms or called - from ex-students to current church youths - sending their wishes and blessings. I was encouraged.

All these reminded me of one of the main reason why I do the things I do. It reminded of one of the main reasons I'm still at the church I'm in - to invest in the next generation.

Thank you God for the grace-gift of friends.


Ollie
March 2007

Living in Tension

The tension between what is and what it should be. God, I pray you help me to live in the tension.


To have faith, to be certain of my beliefs and not grow doubtful.

To hope, to look forward in confident expectation and not lose heart.

To love, to restore and redeem and not to be afraid.

To seek peace, to build up and not to tear apart.

To embrace humility, to wait upon you and not act of my own.


The tension between what is and what it should be. God, I pray what I think it should be is really what you want it to be.

Ollie
March 2007

Rainscape

"Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me.
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away."
- Todd Agnew, Grace like Rain

Everyday I learn anew to accept the grace that come from above. Everyday I learn to recognize God's grace in my life. Everyday I learn to be thankful for the common graces of my life. Everyday I learn that having received grace to show grace to others. Everyday His grace like rain falls afresh on me.


Ollie
March 2007

Know me

Hiding behind our faces,

with deep empty space between us.

The silence between two people,

while the praise chorus echoes in the background.

The chasm between deepens, a gulf between our lives,

it takes but a single word to bridge.

“Know me, know me…” my heart cries.

The pastor drone on with words,

words that does not touch nor heal.

The balm is for someone to know us as we are known,

and yet the facade of religiosity fails.

And there I am praying,

for something that never was to come into being.

“Know us, know us…” continues the cries of the people.

Ollie

March 2007

Feeble Praying

I often feel guilty about my feeble prayers...

... until I realised it is the praying that really matters.